Hi, I’m Emily. Looking at the photo of me above, you’ll likely see a happy woman enjoying a meal out. What you don’t see is that I’d been anxious for weeks before that meal and was on the brink of a panic attack...

The start of my symptoms 

Around 7 years ago, I began feeling very anxious. It crept up slowly and at first, I couldn’t place the source of the physical and emotional symptoms I was experiencing. Often in those early days I thought I was quite unwell. It took me many months to recognise my symptoms as those relating to anxiety.

The first physical signs of anxiety I experienced were a sense of unease ahead of social events or functions alongside a dull ache in my stomach. My mood was irritable, fearful, and I wasn’t sleeping well. This then heightened to a reluctance to go to new places; I would be grumpy, agitated, unable to concentrate, and restless. Finally, these feelings grew to absolute fear at the prospect of being anywhere indoors that was new to me, or in a space where there were lots of people.

Understanding fight of flight

What I now know were panic attacks were common and incredibly draining physically.

Because I wasn’t sure why I was feeling this way, especially in the beginning, I often pushed through my discomfort to try and attend an event or go eat out at a new restaurant. This would then result in physical symptoms which, while back then I couldn’t place, I now know to be my body’s fight or flight response. Physically, this looked like heavy breathing, a dry throat, stomach cramps and diarrhoea; common tell-tale signs of anxiety and panic attacks. What I now know were panic attacks were common and incredibly draining physically. I’d spend the days after feeling lethargic with heavy limbs, pins and needles, and a sense of despondency and disappointment in myself.

Finding coping techniques

I find writing about my day really soothing, and a useful tool to recognise when anxious thoughts are creeping in

After sharing how I was feeling with those close to me and by researching online, I realised I was struggling with anxiety. Seeing a therapist helped massively, as did learning what techniques helped me feel less anxious. 

Some things in my ‘anxiety toolbox’ are sharing how I’m feeling (counselling helped me, as did being open with those around me about my anxiety and how I’m feeling – now I’m very upfront with people if I feel anxious or uncomfortable in a social setting), exercise (I love walking, HIIT workouts and wild swimming), and journaling (I find writing about my day really soothing, and a useful tool to recognise when anxious thoughts are creeping in). 

I spent many months thinking that I was repeatedly unwell, questioning what was wrong with my body, before I made the link that it was anxiety. The unknown and not knowing why my body was behaving the way it was felt incredibly scary. I hope by sharing my story that I can help others recognise any anxious thoughts they may be having, and the physical symptoms they can cause.

You do not need to struggle alone. Opening up about how you’re feeling is an amazing first step to dealing with anxiety.

If you’re struggling with anxiety, reach out to Bath Mind’s Access Community Mental Health team. They offer one-to-one support while helping you find the right local mental health services for you.