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  • Home
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Mens Mental Health Awareness: Luke’s Story

The morning coffees with my flatmate, going on new walks or bike rides, volunteering, spending time outside every day, spending time with my girlfriend, seeing my friends and family. All these things give my days meaning.

I realised that my mental health was deteriorating during my first year at University.

I knew that I was unhappy. I knew that many times a day I would spontaneously feel overwhelmed. I had come to expect that each day an inevitable sickening feeling would fill my stomach, that my heart would start racing, that my thinking and my drive to do anything would become paralysed. And I knew that I had started to get nervous before even the simplest of tasks and that I could spend days still worrying about that same thing. I knew all these things, but I had absolutely no idea what I could do about it. So I did nothing and just hoped it would go away.

Up until that point in my life mental health was something that I had never needed to think about. I was fortunate enough to enjoy my time at school. It was an all-boys school and, like most of my friends, sport was a big part of my time there. I was a keen rugby player, playing regional level and captaining the school team. Thinking back, it was a rarity for any of my friends, or myself, to show any signs of unhappiness and it was rarer still for conversation to ever touch upon how we were feeling.

I think that this is fairly common amongst young men. We try not to show our unhappiness, and we definitely try not to talk about it. This was certainly the case for me. I felt caged by these alien thoughts and feelings, and soundproofed that cage through my unwillingness to tell anyone what was happening.

Every day I would try to face it alone, desperately trying to work out why I felt the way I did. Was it my course? Missing my friends and family? The suffocating coursework deadlines? My self-expectations? A post-school identity crisis? On reflection I think all of these, amongst others, had some part to play. But I continued to sink deeper and deeper into the depression. I was struggling to sleep and unwittingly became more withdrawn, going off on walks on my own for hours on end. I was eating terribly and, in an effort to sleep and numb my thoughts, would drink excessively and regularly. At this point I really didn’t see how things were going to change.

My first steps forward

One day, after recognising that I was in a bad place, a close friend asked me about what I was going through and started to tell me about his own struggles with mental health. I was tired of feeling the way I did and hearing him talk about his experiences gave me that bit of courage I needed to tell someone what was going on. I realised that I wasn’t alone in feeling the way I did and that I had the ability to talk about it. And I think for anyone struggling with any mental ill-health it’s so important to know what I came to realise – you aren’t alone, your friends will listen, and talking does help.

Where would I be if this friend hadn’t had that difficult conversation with me? Perhaps looking after one another is the key for tackling mental ill-health. He convinced me to seek professional help. A GP appointment led to a depression diagnosis and I was prescribed anti-depressants and counselling sessions. It wasn’t really plain sailing from here. For a while I would take my anti-depressants, sleeping pills and drink just to get to sleep. But talking to someone regularly really did help, it took my thoughts and feelings outside of my head and allowed me to confront them. And part of the reason that I wanted to write about my experience with mental health is hopefully to encourage other young men to talk openly and honestly about theirs because it does help.

Curating my life

I made the decision to change university course and suspend my studies for a year. With the help of those around me and being far more open and honest with myself I have become much better at recognising what makes me happy, what is burdening me and what challenges are beyond my control. In turn, becoming more selective about what I gave my time, my energy and thoughts to. In essence I have started to curate my life better than I was previously. I still find it amazing to think what a difference this has made; whilst I still have challenging days, now armed with perspective, I am far better placed to get through them.

Changing my routines

I realise now that I didn’t really give myself a chance in my first year at University. I was obsessed with productivity, working all hours of the day and running from one commitment to the next. Resting was a dirty word. Nowadays, with a schedule filled with more things I love and less things that bring me down, I find time for myself. The morning coffees with my flatmate, going on new walks or bike rides, volunteering, spending time outside every day, spending time with my girlfriend, seeing my friends and family. All these things give my days meaning. Whilst you’re at University it’s easy to lose your day grappling for an extra few percent, but what if that percent could be found if you spent less time agonising over coursework and more time resting?  

The last thing I want to impress the most on anyone reading this going through any sort of mental ill-health is that things do get better. No challenge and no thought lasts forever. And importantly, there are people and organisations that are able to help you, but only if you let them.

A huge thankyou to Bath Mind trustee Luke for his honesty and inspiring words. This Men’s Health Awareness Month, we want to encourage all to speak out on mental health and wellbeing. Remember to check in with the men in your life, this November and beyond. 

Author: Jodie Hoskin
Posted on: 25th November 2020

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Bath Mind

22 hours ago

Bath Mind

Looking for a warming soup this January?

Our wonderful Food for Thought team are sharing another recipe as part of their #newyearnourishment series!

Today's recipe is: Easy French Onion Soup

Serves 4

• 3 large onions, shredded or finely sliced
• 2 cloves of garlic, crushed
• 15g butter or 1 tablespoon of oil
• 2 vegetable stock cubes
• 900ml water
• 2 teaspoons sugar, preferably white
• 2 ‘good sized' potatoes, cubed
• 1 carrot, sliced
• 1 tablespoon fresh or 1 teaspoon of dried, mixed random herbs - for example: coriander, parsley, dill, chives
• Salt and pepper

1. Melt butter in a large pan. Add the onions.
2. Continually move the onions around until soft and golden brown. Once they are soft and brown, add the crushed garlic and mix.
3. Separately bring the water to the boil in a large pan. Add and dissolve the stock cubes, and then add the herbs, sugar, salt and pepper.
4. Add the onion and garlic mix to the pan with the water.
5. Then add the potatoes and carrot to the pan too.
6. Return pan to the boil, and then turn heat down and simmer for an hour
7. Blitz the cooked mix using a hand-held blender or a liquidizer until the soup is thick and smooth.
8. Return to the heat, and simmer for a further 10 minutes.
9. Serve with toasted bread and melted cheese and enjoy!

What's your favourite soup to eat during these chilly winter months?🍲

#bathtogether #NutritionForTheMind #mindfulliving
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Bath Mind

2 days ago

Bath Mind

Bath Mind are happy to announce TWO NEW AND FREE of charge online wellbeing courses, starting in Jan and Feb.

These courses are open access however it is particularly suitable for people with Mental Health difficulties.

🥗🍛Food for Thought 6 week online course (20 spaces)
- Learn about food and nutrition
- Educate about cooking
- Based on low-cost ingredients and simple, dietary-adaptable recipes

Starts Thursday 28th February 1-2pm – Ends Thursday 4th of March 1-2pm 2021

To book your place, request an enrolment form by calling 01225 316199 or emailing [email protected]

🗣️💻Ways to Wellbeing 6 week online course (20 spaces)
- Learn about ways to improve wellbeing
- Based on the 5 ways to Wellbeing
- Creating your own wellbeing toolbox

Starts Thursday 4th February 1030-1130am – Ends Thursday 11th of March 1030-1130am 2021

To book your place, contact the Bath Mind team at 01225 316199 or [email protected]

You can find more information on each course at the B&NES Wellbeing College website:
www.wellbeingcollegebanes.co.uk

#wellbeingcollege #baneswellbeing #bathtogether #onlinewellbeing
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Bath Mind

4 days ago

Bath Mind

Looking for a new opportunity? Bath Mind are hiring! 📞👥📣

We're looking for motivated and compassionate support workers to join a new support service within the charity.

If you'd like to join a compassionate and dedicated staff team, take a look at the link below.

Find and more and apply now at /www.bathmind.org.uk/get-involved/job-opportunities/
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Bath Mind

4 days ago

Bath Mind

COVID-19 can not only impact our physical health, but also contribute to worry and difficult emotions.

If you're concerned how lockdown and coronavirus are affecting your mental health, take a look at our support pages. There are various techniques and activities to try that could help support your wellbeing 💙☕📣

www.bathmind.org.uk/advice-and-support/coronavirus/
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Bath Mind

5 days ago

Bath Mind

Looking for some new year baking inspiration?

Our wonderful Food for Thought team are sharing recipes as part of their #NewYearNourishment series.

Today's recipe is Carrot Cake Flapjack Bars!

• 75g coconut oil or butter
• 200g rolled oats
• 150g soft dates, pitted
• 6 tablespoons of maple syrup
• 2 medium carrots, washed (about 75gs worth)
• 1 apple, washed
• 2 tablespoons desiccated coconut
• 50g pumpkin seeds
• 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract
• ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
• A pinch of ground ginger

1. Line a 20cm x 20cm (or equivalent) with baking parchment. Melt the coconut oil or butter
2. Preheat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6.
3. Get all your ingredients together
4. Put half the oats into a food processor and blitz to a ‘scruffy’ flour, and put into a large mixing bowl with the rest of the oats
5. Put the dates into the food processor with the maple syrup with 4 tablespoons of water. Blitz until broken down to a thick, but textured syrup. Scrape into the bowl with the oats.
6. Peel, if you wish to (there is no need to) and grate the carrots and apple into the mixing bowl and add the coconut, pumpkin seeds, vanilla, spices and the melted coconut oil or butter.
7. Spoon into the prepared tin, smooth over the top with the back of the spoon. Bake for 40-45 minutes until golden brown. Allow to cool a little in the tray before transferring to a cooling rack to cool fully. Slice into 15 pieces.

What are your favourite bakes?🍰

This recipe was taken from 'A Modern Way to Cook' - Anna Jones, 2015

#bathtogether #nutritionforthemind #mindfulliving
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Twitter

Bath MindFollow

We are Bath Mind, here to promote and nurture everyone’s mental health through the provision of information, activities, advice and support.

Bath Mind
Retweet on TwitterBath Mind Retweeted
MindCharityMind@MindCharity·
21 Jan

Mental health and money are linked. We’re working with @mmhpi to improve our information and support for those facing financial worries, especially during coronavirus. We want to understand your experience, so we can help more people. Fill in our survey > https://bit.ly/35G3vUO

Reply on Twitter 1352225860032614402Retweet on Twitter 135222586003261440238Like on Twitter 135222586003261440251Twitter 1352225860032614402
Retweet on TwitterBath Mind Retweeted
WoodyAcres8Alex Woodward@WoodyAcres8·
23 Jan

Enjoyable training run with @Adelove1972 for our @thestarcc Bath Lap Charity Run 2021. We’re raising money for @BathMind who promote & nurture our communities mental health.

Reply on Twitter 1352977102262427649Retweet on Twitter 13529771022624276491Like on Twitter 13529771022624276496Twitter 1352977102262427649
Retweet on TwitterBath Mind Retweeted
CareersatBathUni of Bath Careers Service@CareersatBath·
22 Jan

@BathMind is offering a series of mental health workshops, available to book now. These sessions include a new session for semester two, Looking after your Mental Health at Work. Sign up on MySkills: https://www.bath.ac.uk/campaigns/mentally-healthy-students/

Reply on Twitter 1352594361054154753Retweet on Twitter 13525943610541547531Like on Twitter 13525943610541547531Twitter 1352594361054154753
BathMindBath Mind@BathMind·
21 Jan

Looking for a new opportunity? Bath Mind are hiring! 📣📣📣

We're looking for various new staff members to join a new support service within the charity.

Find and more and apply now at http://www.bathmind.org.uk/get-involved/job-opportunities/

Reply on Twitter 1352294665651953664Retweet on Twitter 13522946656519536643Like on Twitter 13522946656519536644Twitter 1352294665651953664
Retweet on TwitterBath Mind Retweeted
BSUWellbeingBSU Student Wellbeing Services@BSUWellbeing·
21 Jan

Many people find that physical activity helps them maintain positive mental health so check out these 5 ways to get moving and feel better
@BathMind #StampOutStress https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4p6TddpHSg&feature=emb_title

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