How Bath Mind Helped Transform Trauma into Healing – Alex’s Story
In our latest Your Stories blog, Alex shares her experience of mental health crisis, and how Bath Mind’s Orchard House service supported her through this.
Please note this blog has mention of childhood trauma, mental health crisis and homelessness.
When I was a child, I experienced a series of traumatic events that resulted in the forming of a belief system deep within: I don’t need anyone, and I can do it on my own. That was how I coped with what was happening at the time, and that’s how I went on to live my life as an adult – strong and independent, never relying on anyone else.
Facing Homelessness as an Adult
Earlier this year, a sequence of events led to me becoming homeless, and the same coping strategy kicked in; I didn’t reach out to anyone, and I managed. As time passed, being homeless became increasingly difficult to cope with, and I eventually reached a point of crisis, ending up in A&E.
A Referral to Bath Mind
While in hospital, I was referred to the BANES Mental Health Intensive Team, who in turn, referred me to Bath Mind. Throughout the whole experience – of homelessness, of crisis, of hospital, and my referral – I held firm to the idea that my mental health was fine. I have spent many years practising meditation and mindfulness, and my mind wasn’t the issue. I was simply going through a traumatic experience and had gotten to the point of needing help; I would take that help from wherever it came.
Arriving at Orchard House
I was given a bed at Orchard House, a crisis house run by Bath Mind.
Something shifted in me on arrival, like the dropping of a very old guard. I immediately felt safe, as though being there gave me permission to finally let go. So, I did.
While there, I went through a process I now call ‘the great shattering’. At first, I spent a lot of time alone in my room, sobbing. “I don’t know what’s happening to me,” I kept telling the staff. One of them suggested that I try framing my experience as grief, and something clicked. That was it.
All those years of being strong and independent meant I had missed out on so much. The wall I built around myself as a child had blocked out the biggest gift in life – love. It had taken being homeless to get to a point where those walls could finally – and safely – come down.
Processing Grief and Finding Support
That’s what happened at Orchard House. While there, I cried for all the pain and hardship I had been through, that I had never allowed myself to feel. And I grieved for all the beauty in life that I had missed out on because of my childhood scars.
The staff were incredible. Never judgmental, always kind; they sat with me as my walls fell apart. They listened, and they cared – that was a big one for me, allowing myself to feel cared for. They supported me with housing stuff, let me bake cakes and have baths. They played games with me, did puzzles with me. And they let be me alone in my own space when that was what I needed.
A Transformative Experience
Despite the circumstance that led me there, my stay at Orchard House was one of the greatest gifts of my life. I had no idea such a place existed.
If you had asked me a few months ago what I thought Bath Mind did, I would never have come up with that as an answer. Similarly, if you had asked me which people need mental health services, I would never have pointed to myself. That was because I misunderstood what mental health is, and because of the stigma attached to the label.
Understanding Mental Health Differently
What I experienced this year was what I would have called an emotional crisis. It came about because of a traumatic experience, which in turn was rooted in childhood trauma. I’m sure a lot of people can relate to that. And I’m sure many go through life using coping mechanisms they put in place as a child, just as I did.
Getting to a point of crisis – where those coping mechanisms break – could happen to anyone. Whatever I call it doesn’t change the fact that it happened to me. In the car from the hospital to Orchard House, I was sure that the last place I needed to be was a mental health crisis house. I was just glad of a bed, to get me off the streets.
As it turned out, it was the perfect place for me to be. Nowhere in the world could have been more perfect. What I needed was a place where I would feel safe and supported, where I could process and grieve and heal. That place is run by Bath Mind. And I’m very grateful that they were there for me.
A huge thank you to Alex for sharing her experience. If you’re interested in writing a blog for our Your Stories platform, we’d love to hear from you. Please email [email protected] with a brief overview of what you’d like to write.
Posted on: 16th January 2025