Self-harm is when you hurt yourself as a way of dealing with very difficult feelings, painful memories or overwhelming situations and experiences. Even though there are always reasons underneath someone hurting themselves, it’s important to know that self-harm carries risks. Self-harm may also only provide a temporary relief from distress, and the underlying issues have not been resolved. Dependence on self-harm can also develop over time, making it challenging to stop.
There is no one reason why people self-harm. Sometimes it’s a response to specific events or pressures, while for others, the reasons may not be clear. It’s common to feel uncertain about why you self-harm, but you’re not alone and support is available.
Common reasons for self-harm can include:
Sometimes people talk about self-harm as attention seeking. If people make comments like this, it can leave you feeling judged and alone. In reality, a lot of people keep their self-harm private, and it can be painful to be misunderstood in this way. If you do self-harm as a way of brining attention to yourself, there is nothing wrong in wanting to be noticed, and have your feeling and behaviour acknowledged.
Write down what gives you the urge to self-harm, and what your urges feel like. Your triggers could be specific thoughts, sensations, people, situations, or emotions. Your urges could include physical sensations (like a racing heart), strong emotions (like sadness or anger), repetitive thoughts about harming yourself, or unhealthy decisions (like working too hard) to avoid feelings.
Recognising your triggers and urges will help you take steps towards reducing or stopping self-harm.
If you feel the urge to self-harm, it can help to remove any items that may cause harm. Next, try to delay the harm for as long as possible. Set a timer for a length of time (maybe 30 seconds). Don’t self-harm until the timer is up and then repeat. The urge to hurt yourself might be strong now but that won’t always be the case. The urge will eventually pass.
You could also try something to distract yourself in the meantime, such as:
If you do self-harm, it’s important that you know how to look after your injuries and that you have access to first aid supplies. If you’re worried about an injury, consult a healthcare professional, such as your GP or hospital.
Seeing your GP is often the first step to asking for help and discussing your self-harm confidentially. Talking therapies like CBT have shown to be beneficial for individuals struggling with self-harm. Connecting with others who share similar experiences through support groups can also provide understanding and peer support.
Regularly writing your feelings down in a journal can be helpful.
Taking care of your health and wellbeing on all levels (such as eating well, getting enough sleep, doing regular physical activity and making time to do the things you enjoy) can also help you feel a lot better about yourself.
If you or someone you know is self-harming, you are not alone, and support is available.
